Does Criticism Do More Harm Than Good to People?
Text
A Young Woman Who Fears Compliments
Marya, a brilliant graduate student in her early twenties who came for consultation. Insisted that she could improve only with criticism(1). Her reasoning was that she knew the good qualities but that she did not know the bad ones. To have more knowledge of her negative qualities, she believed, would add to her self-understanding(2) and thus enable her to see herself more completely. Marya, in effect, refused to acknowledge and to understand her strengths. She had assembled detailed lists of her negative qualities which she used daily to support an extremely negative view of herself. But they were either exaggerated or unreal(3).
Despite her attractiveness to others, she convinced herself that she was ugly. When her family bought her new and well-designed articles of clothing(she seldom bought any herself), she left them hanging in the closet for weeks before wearing them once. When someone complimented her on what she wore(4) and asked whether it was new, she could honestly answer no. She did not "deserve" to wear new clothes. She could not bear the pain of hearing compliments, of seeing herself as intelligent, pretty, or worthwhile(5).
As a child, Marya had received little or no criticism from her parents. She was prized by them. Their major disappointment in her apparently was that she often rejected their overtures of kindness and appreciation, not in anger but in embarrassment, (6) as though she were undeserving. This seemingly mild-mannered young woman, (7) exceptionally courteous judgment with tenacity(8). finally, friends and interested faculty members quit acceding to her persuasive requests for criticism(9) that they could not honestly give. Instead, they gently but firmly confronted her with her own blindness to what she truly was like(10).
I. Listen
Listen to the text with the help of the following notes.
1. she could improve only with criticism: 只有批評才能使她進步。
2. To have more knowledge of her negative qualities, ..., would add to her self-understanding:更多地知道她的短處將會增加她的自我了解。 3. they were either exaggerated or unreal: 它們或是夸張，或是根本不真實。
4. someone complimented her on what she wore: 有人稱贊她所穿的衣服。
5. She could not bear the pain of hearing compliments, of seeing herself as intelligent, pretty, or worthwhile: 聽到別人的贊揚之辭，看到自己是一個聰明、漂亮的有用的人來說是一種痛苦，對此她不能忍受。
6. she often rejected their overtures of kindness and appreciation, not in anger but in embarrassment: 她常常拒絕他們表示慈愛和稱贊并非由于生氣，而是由于難為情。
7. This seemingly mild-mannered young woman: 這位貌似溫順的年輕女性。
8. held onto her own negative self-judgment with tenacity:頑固地堅持對她自己的否定態度。
9. friends and interested faculty members quit acceding to her persuasive requests for criticism: 朋友及關心她和教師們不再答應她頗具說服力的要求批評的請求。
10. they gently but firmly confronted her with her own blindness to what she truly was like: 他們溫和卻又堅決地向她指出她對自己的實際情況完全視而不見。 |
