同等學力英語作文批改：第54期

　　同等學力英語作文原文

　　Labor Working in Cities

　　When it comes to labor, it is notable that this aspect has been holding an increasingly significant proportion in recent yeas. Meanwhile, there are some problems in our cities.

　　A variety of factors that may account for such issue，but the following are the most vital ones. At the begin with, With the rapid development of science and technology in big cities, such as Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, an increasing number of people work in this cities to earn money to support their family. It is negative to maintain the social stability, and bring about disadvantages, such as, worker’s health, their children’s education, and living condition, which is known to all. If this problems becoming worse and worse, we must have realized that it will affect our study, work and life. In addition, this belief is reinforced by recent survey, which shows about 80% of the people, to some extent, are agreement with it.    

　　In my opinion, it is for this reasons that we must discourage this phenomenon. Not only should we come to understand the importance of labor working in cities, but also we have to go further. Only in this way can we live happily and work well.

　　點評：6—8分

　　文章結構基本符合題目要求，但是內容上不完整，且立意不夠深刻，只是在重復，另外，較多的語法錯誤和表達失誤也是你失分的一個重要原因。今后復習中要多看看范文，學習其中的結構安排和語言表達。加油啊、。