25-Mirror, Mirror — What do I See

    Mirror， Mirror——What do I See？

    A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.

    Mirrors have a very particular function. They reflect the image in front of them. Just as a physical mirror serves as the vehicle to reflection， so do all of the people in our lives.

    When we see something beautiful such as a flower garden， that garden serves as a reflection. In order to see the beauty in front of us， we must be able to see the beauty inside of ourselves. When we love someone， it‘s a reflection of loving ourselves. When we love someone， it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. We have often heard things like “I love how I am when I‘m with that person.” That simply translates into “I’m able to love me when I love that other person.” Oftentimes， when we meet someone new， we feel as though we “click”。 Sometimes it‘s as if we’ve known each other for a long time. That feeling can come from sharing similarities.

    Just as the “mirror” or other person can be a positive reflection， it is more likely that we‘ll notice it when it has a negative connotation. For example， it’s easy to remember times when we have met someone we‘re not particularly crazy about. We may have some criticism in our mind about the person. This is especially true when we get to know someone with whom we would rather spend less time.

    Frequently， when we dislike qualities in other people， ironically， it‘s usually the mirror that’s speaking to us.

    I began questioning myself further each time I encountered someone that I didn‘t particularly like. Each time， I asked myself， “What is it about that person that I don’t like？” and then “Is there something similar in me？” in every instance， I could see a piece of that quality in me， and sometimes I had to really get very introspective. So what did that mean？

    It means that just as I can get annoyed or disturbed when I notice that aspect in someone else， I better reexamine my qualities and consider making some changes. Even if I‘m not willing to make a drastic change， at least I consider how I might modify some of the things that I’m doing.

    At times we meet someone new and feel distant， disconnected， or disgusted. Although we don‘t want to believe it， and it’s not easy or desirable to look further， it can be a great learning lesson to figure out what part of the person is being reflected in you. It‘s simply just another way to create more self-awareness.

    譯文：

    鏡子，鏡子，告訴我

    充滿愛意人的生活在充滿愛意的世界里，充滿敵意的人則生活在充滿敵意的世界里。你所遇到的每一個人都是你的鏡子。

    鏡子里有一個非常獨特的功能，那就是映射出在其前面的影像。就像真正的鏡子具有反射功能一樣，我們生活中的所有人也都能映射出他人的影子。

    當我們看到美麗的事物時，例如一座花園，那這花園就起到了反射作用。為了發現我們面前美好的事物，我們必須能發現在自己內在的美。我們愛某個人，也正是我們愛自己的表現。我們經常聽到這樣的話：“當我和那個人在一起的時候，我愛那時的自己。”這句話也可以簡單地說成：“在我愛那個人的同時，我也能愛我自己。”有時，我們遇見一個陌生人，感覺仿佛是一見如故，就好像我們已經相識甚久。這種熟悉感可能來自于彼此身上的共同點。

    就像“鏡子”或他人能映射出我們積極的一面一樣，我們更有可能注意到映射出自己消極方面的“鏡子”。例如，我們很容易就能記住我們碰到自己不太喜歡的人的時刻。我們可能在心里對那個人有些反感。當我們認識自己不喜歡與之相處的人時，這種情況就更為明顯。

    具有諷刺意味著的是，通常當我們討厭別人身上的某些特質時，那就說明你其實討厭自己身上相類似的特質。

    每次，當我遇到不太喜歡的人時，我就開始進一步質問自己。我會捫心自問：“我不喜歡那個人的哪些方面？”然后還會問：“我是不是有和他相似的地方？”每次，我都能在自己身上看到一些令我厭惡的特質。我有時不得不深刻地反省自己。那這意味著什么呢？

    這意味著，就像我會對其他人身上令我厭惡的特質感到惱怒或不安一樣，我應該更好地重新審視自己的特質，并考慮做一些改變。即使我不想做大的改變，至少我會考慮該如何修正自己正在做的一些事情。

    我們時常會遇到陌生人，并感到疏遠或厭惡。盡管我們不想去相信，不容易也不想去深究，但是弄清楚別人的哪些特質在自己身上有所體現是非常有意義的一課，這也正是增強自我意識的另一個途徑。