應試類寫作,時間一般都比較緊張,時間再緊,也要留出兩三分鐘的時間把文章通讀一遍,進行必要的修改。不要說我們初學寫作的人,就是大作家寫完一個章節或一部小說后都要反復讀上幾遍。在限時、緊張的寫作中,出現錯誤,尤其是語言上的錯誤是不可避免的。如果把這些錯誤留在那里,不得到改正,就會影響整篇文章的質量。閱卷人雖然不大會按你文章中語言錯誤的累計數目進行扣分,但錯誤,尤其是一些幼稚的錯誤,會給閱卷人員留下不好的印象,從而影響文章的分數。
那么修改應注意哪些方面呢?從結構方面來說:(1)看一看中心思想是不是突出?文章中有論述和材料是否都圍繞著這個中心思想展開?如發現個別句子或例子游離于中心思想之外,甚至與中心思想發生沖突,就應把它從文章中去掉。(2)看一看段與段之間,句與句之間是否連貫?銜接是否自然,或給人一種斷裂、跳躍的感覺?如發現這種情況,就要加一個句子或一些詞,或改變一下說法,以求文章的連貫。
但就修改來說,是主要還是放在語言上,即語法和詞匯上。以下各例中,a)表示錯誤的或不宜提倡的句子,b)表示正確的或值得模仿的句子。
1.動詞謂語的時態是否有錯
例 1 a) We college students had enough time to take a parttime job, no matter how busy we were ...
b) We college students have enough time to take a parttime job, no matter how busy we are ...
命題作文一般都是議論文,而寫議論文一般都是用現在時態。只有舉例,提到過去的事才會用到過去時。
例 2 a) Riding bicycles had more advantages than taking a bus.
b) Riding bicycles had more advantages than taking a bus.
考生中用過去時寫作與他們教材課文體裁(大多為敘述文、說明文)和平時寫作練習(大多寫個人經歷的故事)有關,也與他們過度概括有關,認為所有文章都用過去時。
例 3 a) There are so many countries using English that it had been regarded as an international language.
b) There are so many countries using English that it has been regarded as an international language.
在論述同一事情,即發生在同一時間里的事時,前后半句或相鄰的幾句在時態上要保持一致。
2.主語和謂語,名詞和代詞,以及人稱是否保持一致
例 4 a) The eating habit of Chinese people have changed in the past decade.
b) The eating habit of Chinese people has changed in the past decade.
不管主語和謂語隔開多遠,主語當中還有修飾成分,謂語要和真正的主語在數上保持一致。
例 5 a) Now fruits and vegetables can be seen everywhere when it is in season.
b) Now fruits and vegetables can be seen everywhere when they are in season.
例 6 a) I feel proud to come to our university.
b) I feel proud to come to this university
our和主語 I不一致,或把 our改成 my,或改成 this。而這里用 this 較妥。
3.修飾語是否放在正確的位置上
例 7 a) Without television, people can't get information which comes from other parts of the world immediately.
b) Without television, people can't immediately get information which comes from other parts of the world.
a) 句子,immediately 顯然放錯了位置。是“得到迅速從各地傳來的消息”,還是“迅速得到從各地傳來的消息”?意思含糊不清。
例 8 a) At the age of six, my father began to give me English lessons.
b) When I was five years old, my father began to give me English lessons.
a) 句子,At the age of six 放在這個位置上,變成了“我父親六歲的時候”。改變說法,可以解決這個問題。
例 9 a) To improve one's writing skill. regular practice is necessary.
b) To improve one's writing skill, one must make regular practice.
不定式短語的邏輯主語決不是regular practice,為了把邏輯關系表達清楚,要么把不定式短語改成If one wants to improve his writing skill,要么把主句改成one must make regular practice.
4.表示相同的意思,是否用了平行語法結構
例 10 a) With the computer, one can do shopping, banking and read at home.
b) With the computer, one can do shopping, banking and reading at home.
can do shopping, banking and read at home, 用語法平行結構來衡量,用動詞原形 read是不妥的,為了和 do shopping, do banking 保持結構上平行,接下來的一個內容要用do reading.
例 11 a) Nowadays, people not only eat enough food, but also eat better.
b) Nowadays, people not only eat more, but also eat better.
用 not only...but also, both...and, whether...or, either...or, as well as, along with等能連接兩個成分的連詞,前后兩個成分在結構上要保持一致。用 eat enough food, eat better不如用 eat more, eat better,都用副詞。
例 12 a) Participating in sports is good for our physical health, and through it we can also train our character.
b) Participating in sports is good for our physical health, and it is also beneficial to our character-training.
在說同樣的事時,相鄰的句子盡可能在語法結構上保持一致。
5.用代詞時,指代是否清楚
例13 a) Sometimes teachers will inform students of the heavy burden they have to bear.
b) Sometimes a teacher will inform students of the heavy burden he has to bear.
they 即可指代teachers, 也可指代 students,明顯的是指代不清。其實只要把其中一個名詞變成單數,用he和 they分別代不同的名詞,就清楚了。因為 a teacher也可泛指所有教師。
例14 a) Someone believes that the teacher's task is to give students knowledge, which may not be true.
b) Someone believes that the teacher's task is to give students knowledge, a notion which may not be true.
which指代什么不清楚,指 knowledge,還是指前面整個句子?如果指 Someone believes,最好用 a notion或an idea歸納一下整個句子的意思,然后引出從句。
例15 a) People have been fighting against the influence of TV commercials, but it often proves useless.
b)People have been fighting against the influence of TV commercials, but the effort often proves useless.
it 指什么?如指influence,則在 it often proves useless 這個句子中顯然不通。寫作人知道it指人們的努力,但effort 這個詞前面沒有出現過,就不能用it。
6.相鄰的句子,是否避免了不必要的結構轉變
例16 a) While we reuce the number of vehicles, the speed of traffic can be increased.
b) While the number of vehiles is reduced, the speed of traffic is increased.
兩個非常相關的意思,不要一個使用主動結構,一個使用被動結構。
例17 a) Each of us may take a parttime job to help support ourselves, but if you spend too much time on it, your study will be affected.
b) Each of us may take a parttime job to help support ourselves, but too much time spent on it, our studies will be affected.
前半句用each of us和ourselves,后半句卻用you和 your study,應一致起來。
7.可數名詞與不可數名詞是否用得正確
例18 a) TV presents us with many useful informations.
b) TV presents us with a lot of useful information
還有evidence, advice, knowledge等都是不可數名詞,都不能用復數。另外, many, a great number of, another, few 等只能與可數名詞配用。而a great amount of, a great deal of, less, much, 等應與不可數名詞配用。
例19 a) Making our cities greener is not an easy work.
b) Making our cities greener is not an easy job.
work 用作可數名詞是“作品”這類意思,而表示“工作”時,不可數。同樣,在 Word has been sent out that those who cheat on exams will be punished.這個句子中,要用單數word表示“信息”。
例20 a)Each people has his own opportunities.
b) Each person has his own opportunities.
people作“人民”、“人們”解時,是集體名詞,不能與each配用。 a people或 peoples表示民族、國家。在正式語體中也不能說 less people,而應說 few people。
8.冠詞是否用得正確
例21 a) Book knowledge is important, but we should also learn something in the society.
b) Book knowledge is important, but we should also learn something in society.
用定冠詞the, 是特指意義,而這里沒有這個特指意義。同樣,在When I was in the high school, I always have a beautiful picture of the college life 中,兩個the都應去掉。
例22 a) If there were no electirc power, we would have to do everything by the hands.
b) If there were no electric power, we would have to do everything by hand.
表示用手 (by hand), 走路 (on foot), 上課 (in class), 上學 (go to school), 住院 (at hospitable)等,都不用定冠詞。
例23 a) If there were no electric power, factory would stop producing goods, car, bus and train would stop running.
b) If there were no electric power, factories would stop producing goods; cars, buses and trains would stop running.
用可數名詞時,要么前面有冠詞(the, a, an)或代詞(his, her, my), 要么以復數形成出現。不能像中文名詞那樣沒有語法變化。